2020 Published Submissions
mimosa blossoms
WINNING SUBMISSION
And I mourn to live so far from her
Never have I ever loved a river much deeper
For my core is created from the bottom of her muddy bed
Tickled by whiskers of channel cats
At night I close my eyes and am greeted by tall grass
I cross wide plains of yellow lit by a blue moon back to her
And when I arrive I plunge down
Filled deep in chilled water I scrape limestone with my elbows
Let small minnows flash silver through my thighs
My head turned sideways pressing bedrock listening
to the threnody of Midwest songbirds
Low like whispers they sing
Lead me back to my slough
And let me lock teeth in the runoff of my mother channel
And be reborn on the banks of my mighty Mississippi
PUBLISHED SUBMISSIONS
_______
I wonder,
if you wonder?
_______
Hey Bookalooka, it’s grandma checkin’ in from God’s house. I watch you everyday. You’re kind of like my own little sitcom. The season went rough I see, but look how far you’ve come, and I was there to see it all. I saw you trying to come to an end a couple weeks ago, what was that about? Why haven’t you been responding to my messages? You are stronger than those darknesses that hover over you like rain clouds. Listen, I know you can feel my love. Even if you feel me too distant, I am a prayer away. God doesn’t mind the time or day. I know life can get hard but remember my love consumes you. It pains me that you haven’t reached out. You know my ears open like car doors whenever I hear your voice. Never feel alone because there is one thing I know for certain. You will never truly fathom just how strong my love for you is. You are not my first grandson, but you were the light of my life from the moment I held you close to my heart. Keep the family strong and call out to me sometime.
_______
Dear Son,
I cannot express my love to you through words, it chokes me up. Your grandmother would be so proud of the man you’ve become. Love can be expressed in so many ways yet I can’t think of the right one that suits the love I have for you. My eldest and most stubborn son, how we butt heads as if it were our daily occupation, I cannot see a world where you do not exist. The very thought makes my stomach churn. I’ve never been able to express emotions thanks to a past so cold even the strongest immune system couldn’t resist sickness. I am not sure if the pain I’ve felt makes the image of love foggy, however, I rely on my role as a provider to be my love language. Maybe that is why we battle like pirates at sea. What is the treasure we fight for? Is it love from the other party? I pray that as time continues to take its steps to the end for the masses, you continue to feel my everlasting love as there is no end to how much I love you.
_______
“You don’t feel the same, don’t you?” The rain tattered upon the concrete sidewalk as I dropped to my knees. I will never be able to be friends with you again, it’s all over. I knew that I was rushing it. It’s over, it can never go back to the way it was. The truth is, I’ve had feelings for you since kindergarten. I was a shy boy in class, but you came to me and made me feel special. When I was with you I felt like I was no longer in the background. When your with me, the world was full of color. That color scares everybody, but I’ll be a colorful freak if we can be freaks together. The world's a stage, but I needed you as my co-star. Even if you never knew my feelings, being your friend meant the world to me. I guess my world’s over, the color fades to black and white. Now I am an old photograph left to be forgotten. Although you don’t like me I’ll always be there for you. It’s time to fade into the background, but before I go, thank you, goodbye, Brad. The rain continues to tatter.
_______
Do you know how much I love you?
I love you enough to tell you every single day for the rest of my life. No matter the bad days, or the fights, I love you more than the distance between us, or any obstacle that ever could. So when I ask you, do you know how much I love you, I mean it. Do you? Because with this ring, I intend to show you every day for the rest of our lives just how much the word I love you means to me. For you are my sun, and my moon, and all my stars. You are the rain on a tin roof that helps me sleep at night. You are what I want in my arms when I fall asleep, and what I want when I wake up. I love your messy hair first thing in the morning, and I love your bright eyes and beautiful smile. I love you, and everything that you are. And everything that you mean to me. All this to say, when I tell you how much I love you, please say you love me too.
_______
I thought we were perfect.
I told myself I would give you the world.
I would change myself just to have you.
I did change myself for you.
I was a mirror with no reflection, showing me a blank slate.
We were roots planted in toxic soil.
I dreamed of something that would never be real and lost myself.
Caught in a nightmare disguised as a perfect daydream.
I lost myself and became all that you were.
I thought it was real.
I thought it was Love.
But it was fake.
_______
I gave you a shoulder when you needed it,
You bled me dry when you were feeling it,
I helped you fight when you gave in,
You gave me pain because you were through with it.
But if I could get the moon,
I would give it to you,
And if Death offered his hand for passage,
I would take it for you.
I gave you everything and you held back,
You stole my heart and I don’t want it back,
I gave you the moon and you gave it back,
You took me for granted even when I had your back.
But if I could get the moon,
I would still give it to you,
And if Death offered his hand for passage,
I would still take it for you.
I didn’t mean a thing to you,
You knew how much I loved you,
I poured my heart out for you,
You left the pieces because it wasn’t good enough for you.
And I can’t get the moon,
So I can’t give it to you,
And Death is already here for me,
So I can’t take his hand for you.
_______
Idiot
Who is the fool between two
One is a caregiver but also tool
The other brilliant but can’t find their light
Who is the fool I must ask again
The tipsy one who won’t shut their mouth
Or the one who wants to let it all out
As they cry in the night whilst the sky lit from the skyline
Not one can tell time
In fact all time has gone by
With that being said
Their poor souls lay there dead
Wanting to love like they once did
_______
sitting at the bar of her favorite coffee shop,
she overlooks the quaint downtown strip
that reckons a sense of self within her.
she watches the old Libyan man set out
the welcome sign
amongst the other small business owners
who trickle in,
unlocking doors to tea shops and bookstores,
pizzerias and apothecaries,
beginning their various works for the day.
the leaves, they fall in the same familiar pattern
as the snow will in just a few months time.
dancing, they scintillate in the drops of rain
until they all meet in a loosely formed pile
of vermillion.
tears forming,
she revels in the soft embrace of home,
the warmth it still has to offer her,
and all that it has already given her;
including a perpetual ache,
the soulful yearning for home
that she dwells in.
do you know how much I love you?
she whispers to the winds of the town
whose rains wash away her turmoil;
whose very essence emulates wholeness.
_______
Running down the court
This is my favorite sport
Going to grab my uniform
Before I forget my shorts
Offense is my favorite
We score, we pass, we play
Dribble down the court
Shoot the jumping shot
Slide your feet like a wave
Steal and rebound to save
Defense is the name of the game
Nothing will stop my love for the game.
_______
i was in his bed intimately bare
in away that was not just naked
when he asked me about love
my art is the first thing i think of every morning
and last thing i think of before i rest
i yearn to come home to it each night
i show pictures of it to anyone one who is willing to see
i think about it all the time
it's taken me places i never imagined
it helps me to grow
it makes me want to be the best version of myself
i give it all of me and in return, it waters me
it's a sweet, interminable cycle of pouring love into myself
i would do it if no one was watching and for a long time i did
this is what i've come to understand as true love
_______
Do you know how much I love you?
I love you more than you could ever imagine,
And that would never change regardless of what happens.
My love for you is infinite,
The day I met you you filled my heart with delight.
Love is more than just a connection,
It’s an everlasting bond that can withstand any tension.
I’ve always imagined loving someone,
But never as much as I do you.
My heart skips a beat every time you’re around,
You make me lost for words, to the point where I can’t even make a sound.
I love you for that.
We have dreams together,
Keep being you and those dreams will surely come through.
You are the light that carries me through the dark patches.
You are my world.
So, I ask again,
Do you know how much I love you?
_______
do you know how much i love you?
i've never felt this way
i lay in my bed with you running through my mind
i think of you all day
i'm in love with the person you are
thank you for wanting to be involved in my life
always being my support
the words are not there for me to let you know
how much i truly love you
but i promise
i will always try
let me know
do you know how much i love you?
_______
Love is something that is everlasting
It’s is as Warm as a freshly baked Apple Pie
Love is the light that pushes the darkness away
Sometimes words are never enough
When I look into your eyes I see life in itself
Your love rushes over me like the ocean
Through Trials and Tribulations
You have been around
Love is quite a funny thing because
It feels me up with air and will never fade
I will always love you through thick and thin
And we will live our whole young lives away
In the joys of a living love
_______
-Golden Caged Butterfly
Go
Go
Go
I’ll burn before
I curl up
Twelve years
Sit tight
I will not
Die
Die
Die
Golden
Little
Butterfly
Cage me
Fine
Watch the dust from my wings
Collect
Cover
Me
Gray
Brown
Beneath I shine
Sparkle
I’ll rise
Flutter
Beneath my dust
That’s where
When you
Least expect it
Uncovered
Identified
Left naked
Your demise
You’ll find
While I
At last
LOVE MYSELF
Dust my wings
Golden
Fly
Mother******
Goodbye
_______
more than a comprehensible amount, i’d say, is how much i love you
the absence of your presence leaves my heart sorrowful
and for my mind, it only thinks thoughts of you while you’re gone
while my soul yearns for your touch, i can only dream of your next arrival
so instead i will cherish every moment we share
and i know you’ve never asked how much i love you
but if you did, i would say:
i love you so much is too vague of a response
you are my best friend
and i am smitten by you
and there is nothing i wouldn’t do to find you in any lifetime that i live
but if i searched the world through and through
i’d never find another you
_______
when your eyes first met mine, i felt a feeling like no other
i thought i knew what it meant to love somebody
until i met you
and then i learned what it meant to love somebody more than you could ever love yourself
your small smile is the light that guides me through all of the darkness
like the sleepless nights with you by my side
when i feel like i’ll never learn how to satisfy you
i can’t fathom a life without you, but one day you will lose me
you will be strong, because you will know how much i loved you
because from this day and every day for the rest of my life, i will choose you
and i will remind you everyday when you ask “mommy how much do you love me?”
because i will respond with my arms stretched wide: “this much, baby, this is how much i love you.”
and everyday i will choose to accept you, as you grow and change
and i will always be there for you, when you face your fears and chase your dreams
because you are my child
you are the light of my life
_______
“Do you know how much I love you, Daddy?” itty bitty, three-year-old Izzy asked her dad. They sat together on the driveway, the soft, summer air hugging them and the black, sparkling sky dazzling them.
He smiled to himself. “How much?”
Izzy threw her arms as far as they could go. “Thiiiissss much!” she exclaimed.
"Oh yeah? Well I love you thiiiisss much!” her dad countered, stretching the arms of his 6’ 3” figure out wide.
Izzy furrowed her tiny little eyebrows.
“How many stars are in the sky?” she wondered to him.
“Billions,” he answered.
Izzy giggled and flashed a toothy grin. “Well I love you even more than them.”
_______
My love for you
cannot be told;
Only whispered
between Earth and Sky,
in rain that
helps roses grow.
My love for you
cannot be told;
Only witnessed
between Sun and Moon,
creation of starlight
against black infinity.
My love for you
cannot be told;
Only discerned
between Heart and Soul,
in sweet melody
from memories’ abyss.
Our love is greater than pearls
nestled in Mermaid seas;
greater than Aphrodite’s doves
gliding amongst ivory clouds;
greater than Cupid’s arrows
guiding lovers to destiny;
My love for you succeeds
against all measure;
existing before now,
lasting forever;
Yet, forever fails to define,
our love is beyond measure of time.
_______
so few
with every up and down
you shine brightly
good or bad
you’re there
even when I can’t reach you
decades or seconds
you have always been
when I lost my family
when I found them again
there you were
you think of me
you spend time with me
you show me that I am loved
the way that I need
you’re there for me
for every new relationship
for every breakup
you accept me
for me
you are one
you are many
you laugh with me
and at me
I smile
we cry
you listen
we make our own rules
you tell me when I am wrong
I can’t remember life without us
you show me how to love myself
so many
_______
every time i want to walk away
love wakes me to your words
and I find a way to shake the
doubt and fear to brave what's
most clear that when I'm old
and gray and your hands are
still on mine never losing touch
or time our love is bigger than
we'll ever be never walk away
we always find our way
_______
i kissed you
on your back
like you like
and told you
i loved you
but i had more
to say so i'm
i'm writing to
you now in
the quiet of the
morning under
the soft light
on the cool floor
before i send
myself off i take
a moment to
think of you
_______
Flora Majora:
Whose natural scents does sweep my inner nose.
Flora Minora:
Found in deep depths and
between the meadows.
Flora Majora:
As delicate as the late-dusk breeze.
Flora Minora:
I am as the honey bee, eager to please.
Flora Majora:
Petals sickly-sweet,
supple enough to suck.
Flora Minora:
A flower much too
pristine to pluck.
Flora Majora:
Does it sadden you to have your precious pollen stolen?
Flora Minora:
If you could have, what would you have spoken?
Flora Majora:
Oh, how deep your roots do grow.
Flora Minora:
I admire your flutter as the wind blows.
Flora Majora:
Oh how i’d love to see
the morning dew cascade across your bosom bloom.
Flora Minora:
a refreshing drench
from summer’s beam,
I must presume.
Flora Majora:
How many thorns do you have hidden along your spine?
Flora Minora:
Will there ever come a day where you shall be mine?
_______
Do you know how much I love you?
It truly comes and goes-
What makes me happy seems so blue and
Only God and I know
Do you know how much I love you?
Today, not so much
You paint the world so venomous, I can’t get to
The reason behind your touch
Do you know how much I love me?
It truly comes and goes-
What makes me happy seems so blue and
Only God and I know
Do you know how much I love me?
Today, not so much
You paint the world so venomous, I can’t get to
The reason behind your touch
To love myself is a battle between my
Heart and mind, so
If you ask if I love you-
Don't be afraid If I say
I don’t.
_______
I don’t deserve the way you love me unconditionally.
The way you always smile at me when I say something dumb.
Even after I left.
After you saw me at my worst.
I tried to push away, but you still held me.
The way you know about my past and still look at me as if I’ve never been wrong.
I cherish our giggle sessions and afternoons where we can’t stop laughing.
I even love the days when we’re mad.
I love those days because I know how life feels without you.
Hopeless.
Empty.
My world is whole again.
Light.
Hopeful
“Do you know how much I love you?” he asked looking into my eyes.
Maybe I have an idea.
But you’ll never know how much I love you.
_______
I do not
deserve the trust
you wholly give
your big brown/black eyes
looking up at me
I hope you live forever, you old bean
Back then
when you fit in the palm of my hands
I suddenly believed in miracles
Happiness can be held, cuddled
Joy smells like you
The next time we go
for your regular check-up
I'll ask the vet
if your x-ray scans show
you are 100% love
All 70lbs of you
bounding to greet me at the door
All 4 legs and waggy tail
twitching happily in sleep
do you dream of me like I dream of you?
I never thought
I would be capable
of loving with my whole heart
until I met you
my big drooly silly little big boy
_______
All my life I wanted dainty wrists and a slender neck-- fingers unpudged, no extra jiggles. I keep putting my personality in other people's bodies, maybe I'd like me better if I looked like someone else.
-
My heart is a reservoir of love, regenerating despite the cracks in the dam. Who says I can't love others if I don't love myself? I can. I should.
I will.
-
I'll never look the way I want to. Acceptance is a long walk in nature. But it will never be lonely. If I allow the love to flow into me, I can allow it to flow out. Regenerated love. My undainty wrists, and pudgy fingers can hold my heart together. And these jiggles-- all these jiggles-- a ripple effect is what I'll call it. I do not see the waves in the atmosphere but I feel it.
-
The air is changing. So am I.
_______
I still loved you after you left you.
Know the name of where you’ve gone.
Found it hiding, Before you hid me.
Painfully discarded under your cycle,
still only throwing flowers your way.
I’d beg for my burial if it meant your polish.
I love you this much.
_______
UHGLY SWMMNG
Aye am ay slowwe
moovng yoonit yoosng
ovurr-hand eksposur
to mimmik naychur
mye bottl-bretth is fowl’d
Yew arr ay spesimin
ov good desiyn
with ay vurb fo’rr
last naymms claymng
hurrediterry forchunns
Aye’ll keep a lukowt
en cayss ov romanss
skowl’d end bobbng by
thuh yardaje alongsey’d boyant
flesh on tymme
fo’rr disapoyntmnts
whut do yew rekall frum aynshent tungss?
_______
"Do you know how much I love you?” I screamed.
“Of course,” She cried.
“Obviously not”
“If I didn’t, would I have ever had sex with you?”
“Love isn’t sex, it’s far from it actually”
“What does love mean to you?”
“Love? Love is a feeling that never stops. Caring if that person is okay, if they ate, if they slept well, and if they need anything, literally anything. Love means doing something for someone just to be able to see them smile, that smile is the only thing that you need in return. The person you love will bring out a whole other side of you, you’re a better version of you when you’re with the person that you love. You continue to better yourself for them”’
“That’s love?”
“I’m not done. Have you ever wanted something so bad you would do anything and everything to get it?”
“Yes”
“That’s what love is, I would walk to the ends of the earth to be with you. I would rather die than let something happen to you and you don’t intentionally hurt someone you love. After everything, I would have never left you because of how much I love you”
_______
a longer fight, a harder bite*
my stubborn teeth still -sinking
in your wandering skin;
bloodthirsty blundering
until this match is exhausted within
residue remains;
finger stains to crevasses unchained,
like tendrils they caress
picture perfect memory
of the glimmer in lost eyes;
first responders nestled into
unconscious energetic lullabies
a web, void and absorbent
-cannot escape fire as its prey;
drawing near the mouth to flame
Icarus drowning in song
this moth, so eager to meet the sun
unintentional gasps grasp,
a tidal wave of simplicity;
framed and mounted in the heart of
a home made with chivalry
- this darkness isn't all it seems to be
where strings attach,
you've been steadily weaving;
without ropes I am tied,
as if it's a book you've re-read
and written in your own lead stained red
a sigil with no lines existing
in black mirrored skies
a sedentary spider applies pressure,
emitting provocation like radiation
- tasteful poison alluring
as space -curated lines integrate;
piercing the heart of unknown
transformational alchemy
I cannot discern the self from what lays
underneath;
serenades of senses beckoning
the longer the fight the lesser the questioning
- now that fire lays behind your eyes
indefinitely.
_______
I see you, there
across the room, I stare
your glance came unprepared;
the [colourful] listening.
my atmosphere is cracking, caving
suggests of things you're blaming [re- creating]
this heart, unrequited- remaining
these experiences not lived
we both deserve
a life well -less reserved
this love- not vacant or conserved
•
my hands are cold when I touch yours
through long forgotten fears and pores
•
layers of skin, yet to explore
inward ● ○ outward;
stumbling towards each door
a razor, dull -this light the same
tracing, much anticipated pain
a synonym of a caress; to tame
all in efforts of staying sane
I only wished I could've said
all I had- in my head
knotted melodies and daydreams
this beauty; pure
[left unsure]
unrefined and undefined. we are
disaster winds and unkempt fires
still yet to retire
this bridge we built; of cracked mirrors and silk
these roots reflections,
never clearer
and as the smoke rises; my hands grow warmer
[bridges beckoning; it does not crumble]
both eyes end in crisis- the fog's consensus
I cannot see
what was left behind
U§
yet, I can taste your blood
_______
fireflies float down wind
on your riverboat
a river - at least-
an ocean beyond
terminal treading,
towards that of which is [bound]
I'll swim, -
I'll swim
underneath
I won't be too long.
until this
ribbon br eak s
underneath
I hear you mumbling; a song
with loose smoke - left intertwined
don't you worry
I'll meet you
•
•
D r N n
o
i N
W n •
G
• •
•
as your lips touch mine
mystified
how the feelings never died
after every trial,
I can taste your blood,
[release]
I have awaited this flood.
beneath
your flesh, a commodity
this water is becoming
underneath
becoming
•
these ribbons
becoming
this rope
becoming
kinbaku bi
underneath
these curious
mumblings
I find you.
melting away
[out of control]
just as I am bound
_______
xii THE FALL
What is this soul? Who is this magician within my hold?
Daily the distance grows. Stretching, the two-way folds. Filling and molding, molting the tender callus the distance grows. Like a house the trees must fall. What was gained was always borrowed, what stands now has to follow. The dead leave endlessly and we follow endlessly. These currents crash and shift but we seek to caress; the clarity of our hearts.
The bargain of love is magic. The soul bound, the condition of multiplying passions and the consequences of sharing our soul for love. Conductive lines of truth we find. When the perspective drifts the structure splits.
Who will you love next? Who will you ever manage to forget? And when the deed is done I may be bound from skin to soul. The tensions of my choices form holds. (Bio)logical, conscious, cells. Distributable wells. I lose my walls, the lover swells their sails. Daily the tension grows, stretching, the two-way folds. Freedom a dream between my heart and your hold. The gravity. The reality. unknown
_______
iii CLEAN WOUNDS
These tallies like scars. Bonding the distance like married hands.
This love it's like a charcoal at the center and the smoke about the focus has me dreaming of your stars.
~If I could only know you better~
But the cleaner my memory
(Losing)
The distinguished reality
(Dreaming)
A way to your light
(Leading)
The touch of your energy
(Leaving)
The scars in my heart unite
We loved we didn't lose a fight
_______
I love you so much my love for you will survive the death of all things.
_______
I love you so much that death is nothing.
_______
You are my world.
My love and my lust.
You are the light that keeps away the dusk.
Do you know how much I love you?
These words will never be enough.
You light my fire with just a simple touch.
Two years ago we met, in a moment created by chance.
One look in your ocean eyes and I nearly lost my breath.
Now we take this journey, together hand in hand.
Every day with you is like living in the Promised Land.
My husband, I love you more than you know.
What a pleasure it will be to watch you grow.
Our skin may wrinkle.
Our hair may gray.
However, one thing will remain the same.
My love for you, my darling, will never fade.
Faithfully yours, here and beyond the grave.
_______
Loose lips sink
fingertips.
His bite grips
harder, baby.
Please -
Linger, longer.
Why do you let me
hurt you
every time?
OIL AND WATER
Because I think you’ll learn
a lesson.
I think you’ll learn
to stay.
But you leave me
in the mornings
when I find magic
in the day -
How much
do I love myself?
Enough -
to walk away.
_______
I love you — go away
We’ve traipsed through eons
And tasted olives at the end of the world, remember?
“Remember those birds
Under the planks at Mildred’s?” u say
—
How do you acknowledge “enough”?
I love you; that is, I want you to succeed
And grow and bloom and blossom and
Plant a tree but the pot’s too small
Host a party but the pan’s 2 servings
“I got it on black Friday“ — but to what end?
Each piece is an extension of yourself
A feeling you can’t say out loud
The Island ghosts haunt your step, yeah, fine, I get it.
‘God forbid’ you denounce your crown
You are the princess of the mountain and the sea
You miss the breeze that sprints from the sea
In some way, the smell of dieseltobacco too—but
Especially the idea that there’s a world where
We can (all) be together—I know because, like, me too.
—
A blank stare is all you’ll get though.
Love is the bird that migrates back and forth
It’s there always but for now:
I love you this much — go away.
_______
After a while you learn
the subtle difference between holding a hand,
And chaining a soul.
And you learn that love doesn’t mean learning,
and company doesn’t mean security.
And you begin to understand
that kisses aren’t contracts
and presents aren’t promises.
And you learn to build your roads on today,
because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans,
and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head held high and your eyes open;
with the grace of an adult,
not the grief of a child.
After a while you learn
that even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden,
and you decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone else to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you can endure
and that you really are strong.
And you learn, and you learn, and you learn
with every goodbye, you learn!
_______
Do you know how much I love you?
Asking for a friend
A friend who looks at me differently when I speak about you
Differently how?
Well, they don't speak
Skirting my eyes
Avoiding answers
Just nodding vaguely
Without saying, they're saying "such a pity, such a waste"
Do you know how much I love you?
Asking for myself
It's either "New Hi-res Photo of the Milky Way, courtesy of NASA" or "Amazing photo of One Single Atom- WOW!"
Seems there's no in-between
Do you know how much I love you?
The saddest answer isn't MAX or MIN
The saddest answer is just the side street I take to cut the traffic
Or the cup I pick when my favorite is dirty
You're just a middle, a filler, an in-between
I won't forever hate you
You won't ever be the one that got away
You'll fill the spot between
Not special in your glory
Not memorable in your chaos
Do you know how much I love you?
It's really not that much
Not much
Not
No
_______
My partner,
Why can’t I feel you
You know I’m longing to
To caress your sensual skin
The most tempting of all senses
But you shut me out instead
Why can’t I smell you
Your scent attracts me
So strange yet my mind indulges
I seem to want more
Yet, you shut me out again
You see right through me
As if I'm not there
But that is alright
Because like your hands
Your soul is perfect
Wait, not perfect
Down right absolute
I want your hands
To help me carry my baggage
Each one to hold a purpose
Or hold my heart
_______
INT. DINING ROOM - EVENING
Trey sings softly to himself as he arranges papers on the table. Jaime looks on.
JAIME
Why are you singing to yourself?
TREY
I always sing to myself
JAIME
Are you happy?
TREY
I'm around you. Of course I'm happy.
JAIME
Of course.
_______
INT. BEDROOM - DAY
Trey peeks in the door. Jaime finishes putting on her coat to leave.
TREY
Jaime, now is not the time!
JAIME
Now is always the time.
_______
INT. BEDROOM - MORNING
Jaime reaches out and touches Trey’s shoulder. He turns slightly to her as he wakes up.
JAIME
I had a dream that you and I were
going to eat dinner together, but I
got abducted. So we had to drive
separately.
TREY
You had a dream where you got
abducted, and the consequence was
it delayed our dinner plans?
JAIME
Yes.
_______
INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY
Jaime pulls the front door shut and shrugs.
JAIME
I just feel like I’ve failed.
TREY
The list of our failures could
stretch to the moon and back. Isn’t
that an accomplishment?
_______
-contiguous
Water in the landscape is never still. If unobstructed, a wave
can move all the way across the world.
Loving—according to Barthes—is motionless and sedentary. But
mustn’t one be moved in order to love? You swim.
What you are in (this moment)
what touches your skin (this water)
Touches one million other body’s kind.
_______
-influent
The ebb and flow of the sea is as untethered as you are, contained only
by whatever surrounds it. Were you to float on this, where would you be
carried? Imagine the bodies beneath the surface: undulating jellyfish,
tiny mollusks, urchins, sea stars, sharks.
Shark skin is uniquely engineered to move through water. It is made up
of tiny dermal scales called denticles that make it rough like sandpaper.
They curve over a soft membrane like hooks, bristling to push water
across the body efficiently, unidirectionally, with little drag. Shark skin
is the basis of teeth formation in all species of animals.
You cannot finish saying the word love without using your teeth.
_______
-orbital
The water may not be wild today, but the absence of other bodies on the
surface makes sinking a conceivable undertaking, should you desire such
a sensation. You are a necronaut. Rip currents, your lovers. Insisting
themselves over your body and into your skin, the tides try to convince
you that breaking is a beautiful release.
Remember,
waves are not water. What you feel is invisible—a circular articulation
of potential that is merely traveling through another fluid body.
_______
The minds vastness can sometimes only be measured by the smallness of fingernails
And the devil’s in them details
Tender gap between skin;
yours & mine, turns ours
Smiling like a mirror
We’re in on some joke
We’re the holders of truth
Truth is; we been sleepin’ in
Watchin’ dawn spread hours
fillin’ eyes up to their brim,
Thinkin’ you sure awoke
The way all mountain peaks do
_______
Snow fall in February
It’s cold outside
The streets are white
They glow at night
No stars up high
No warmth inside
No ways to try
To stay alight
Snow fell on our love
It Stuck,
cause it was cold enough
It's still cold enough
_______
How could I have known
Without the carousel hum, a crowd’s hush,
Or low-toned us standing sentinel?
Until our life crowned as
Luggage wondering grumpily,
A thundering of “What’s the rush?”,
We downsized our role in tags drug along
This adage trundling baggage claim song:
I show d’ya my clothes
try’da teach’ya how to sew
And you'd show me your notes
Try’an teach me all that algebra, no--
Back before the airport,
head inside the thought
Wolf-in-sheeps-wool
Self-love, the selfish way
Broke our rules, lied up late
Depleting the flight of its fuel,
I was cruel
But
How could I have known
The ways you can’t love your clothes
And how could I have fought
All that internal dialogue?
And still
mind my own?
* * *
And still
Even mirrors remind in time, chiding:
Love is neither quiet death, distrusting rift
Nor fears projected itinerant
It’s righteous rage to do right by oneself
To know how sure the soul, alone, can be
It’s brightness braved for any flight, unsheltered
To know how pure the heart, held true, will be
Centered unconditionally
_______
pages pressed pages
unfurl on the bed
In time cinched flat
ten years past
Shopping list
certificate
Read, restart. try again
Bookmark with something new
Read and restart, again
And
what of our paper love,
Pressed in the pages?
Courier news
decade old
Crease and un fold, flattened rule
Handwriting
yellowed hue, hmm?
Spaces and spaces left
where you had been
In time stitched flat
spines and backs
Show tickets
pictures of friends
Read, restart, try again
Bookmark with something new
Read and restart, again
And
what of our paper love,
Pressed in the pages?
Receipt’s ear ruined, far from
Life’s intruding
fading run
History
gone by the sun
His story gone by the sun!
_______
Soft cheeks pressed into rose speckled covers.
Tail resting gently against my legs.
You’re a fur ball.
I scritch-scratch your head.
You purr.