2025—Do you know how much I love you?
cherry tree, herbert von king park, with aea
WINNING SUBMISSION
beloved please don’t go
without saying when
or at least reminding me of what will be in season
I only want to hear tomorrow
or when the pears get good
I like to think about what we’ll be eating over the sink
or what clothes I’ll borrow
as I clean up my apartment
this time, when I screamed that I was rot
you took to the kitchen
cut off all the bruises from the peaches
called it compote and told me to eat
this time was too short
I know, I know
we need to sleep
but what do you think the trees will look like?
RUNNER UP
Lunch Rush
Aiko is an hourly employee at Happy-Fish Revolving Sushi Restaurant, and Aiko is in love with a regular customer. As the lunch rush begins, Aiko prepares a piece of yellowfin tuna nigiri on the small blue-rimmed plate for her beloved.
Masaki was a salaryman until three days ago. Everyday for the last thirteen years, Masaki ate at the same restaurant nearby his office during his lunch break. As Masaki watches the blue-rimmed yellowfin tuna spin away, he resolves to dial his wife. She greets him warmly from the other end of the line.
Yume finds herself on her first date but has not yet found the courage to speak to her companion. She peeks up timidly to see a blue-rimmed yellowfin tuna approaching the bend. Yume’s date notices her perk up and moves toward the plate, accidentally brushing his fingers along her sleeve. He freezes and their eyes meet. Yume blushes.
Koorogi sits by the window and waits statuesquely as the blue rim of the small plate crosses into the sunlight’s shadow. Deftly, Koorogi sweeps the yellowed fish from atop the rice. Licking his whiskers, Koorogi sits still on the sill and gazes to the chef behind the tempered screen.
PUBLISHED SUBMISSIONS
(Selected submissions will be added here throughout the competition in the order that they are received)
1.
Oh yes yes, I mean..
Haha, yes yes I did!
Where was I...
Oh yeah I know! That's so funny.
I thought of you.
Did you?
Oh, that's so sweet of you!
No, um-hum.
Uh-huh.
I see...
Oh, I understand.
...
Um-hum..
I see.
No, I understand.
Yes.
No.
...
That sounds great.
No, not at all!
I hope so, too.
Yes...
Yes, I think so, too.
Thank you.
..
You, too.
Bye-bye..
2.
The first week winter swept over Missouri
You brought me a pomegranate
After I told you I loved you
And I peeled it for us to share
It was messy work
But I want it all
The sweet seeds and the red stained hands
3.
I watch you dance with strangers while I sit at the bar
You utterly alive
And me far too sober
While a lesbian at the other end tries to buy me a drink
I could look at you for hours
Admiring the way your golden hair curls around your cheeks
And when you put your head in my lap on the way home
I burn the memory into the back of my eyelids
And when I kiss you on the porch
You taste like booze and three cigarettes
And I could not want any other mouth more
Because it is yours
Soft and warm and resolute
And far holier than the church
You are
In your own words,
The lord, my God, whatever
4.
Do you know how much I love you, 내 사랑?
I left everything—my home, my country, the life I knew—because I dreamed of something more for you.
I took you and your sister in my arms and walked alone through a strange land, not speaking the language, with only my heart full of fear and hope. But my love for you was stronger than any fear, stronger than any loneliness.
I worked three jobs, never resting, with nothing but the cold comfort of a car to sleep in. I gave you all I had—my strength, my tears, my very soul—so you could have food, warmth, a future.
I wanted you to feel worthy, to know that you are worth everything.
My love for you is a depth words will never touch.
I made kimchi with my hands, but it was with my blood and my sacrifice that I built your life.
I may not have gold, but I gave you something greater—my heart, my willpower, my everything.
You are my wealth.
Do you know how much I love you?
More than you’ll ever understand.
-할머니
5.
and i may never return to my childhood
house, but i will always tuck my face
into your neck and trip over
the spot of sun block you missed.
your door opens to waxy pride of play-doh like
whipped dessert you can smell
but won’t hold shape in your
wet, pink mouth.
baby wipes on the reliable bottom shelf.
the beloved reading pit in the library
at pigeon mountain. the pages, still cream and cared for,
in the sophisticated picture books section.
a piglet soft toy 外公 taffy stretched to reach
from the top shelf for me. warm, bleating
moth balls serenading, still sour after
外婆 knit a woolen sweater around her.
and maybe it isn’t exactly home
but something just behind the bend.
my best friend’s carpet as we face each other,
porridge fuzz patterning our ripe, breaking cheeks.
it is enough to pretend with lip pressed
to your skin, kissing with something thicker
than blood or water. no sweeter than honey
to the bees, when i breathe it in.
6.
they will never know how much; when they ask it's just spare change,
my best words saved for letters i tuck beneath your pillow
or barely there, whispered only in your sleepy ear
and my best sounds, just a breath, punched out
your hands at my back, too squeezing and
bright at the arrivals gate.
7.
Lux - the SI unit of illuminance
No one would cast doubt on the light you brought to this world.
Your innate strength and independence are among the most cherished of my human core values.
All I ever wanted for you was freedom.
All I ever did was restrain.
The world we have created was not made for the passions of your kind.
In my reverie, let not fondness overpower the multitude of failures.
The slivers of light left behind are forever folded into the crevices of my existence.
The depth of my love yields the purest of joy and sorrow.
All I ever wanted for you was freedom.
But in the end I took that too.
8.
To love is to trust
Trust in the dirt beneath our toes
And the blue of the sky and
Everything in between
Trust that night and day will take us on adventures
That lead us to the people and places we are meant to meet
Trust that the hands we hold
The tears we wipe
The food we share
And the laughter we so willingly experience is all in the name of
Life and living
We must live to love,
And everything else will come seeping in
9.
First Snow
I never told you how corny I thought my name was,
that in Mandarin it means “good home,”
but in the literal order means HomeGoods,
that I love to run my hands on Call It Spring faux leather,
smell their penny pinched candles to remember,
an excuse to tell my story to you.
But now, the snowflakes are powdered in your curls,
like a Narcos episode,
and I love you.
Your throat with all the hehehe cacophony of it,
the sock-plastic-bag-sock combo in your Converse,
the shuffling juvenile of it.
I keep telling you that your mom was right about the boots,
that you should’ve brought them, your tongue out in protest,
I think sometimes I’m acting like her, like mine,
sometimes.
In that snow-topped horizon,
it's gonna be too night to make s’mores,
but the city boy in you is still bare knuckled,
dukes up, biting back against the wind.
The brief splice of flame licking the stars,
before tugging itself back into the grass,
plastic bags squelching back inside.
We shake ourselves off,
put on 90 Day Fiancé,
my head on your shoulder,
the candle flickering.
Here, our first snow,
Our good home for the night.
10.
LISTEN: there is something that must be said, it must be said!
LISTEN: this is not so easily forgettable.
LISTEN: you live in my body.
LISTEN: I am no longer inquisitive.
LISTEN: I am certain of it.
I am going to say to you –
that I love you.
11.
you can try to fool it.
you can try to charm it.
you can try to bribe it.
sweet talk.
you can try to hide it.
you can try to guide it.
you can try.
you can try to train it.
you can try to drain it.
you can try to reason with it.
you can give it the cold shoulder.
pure devotion.
no surprises.
you can try. you can try. you can try.
-----------------------------------------------------
How did you know it was time to leave?
She laughed.
12.
Where do oysters live? I ask Sophia
Because she knows everything
Is it brackish water?
She laughs
There’s no brackish water in Kansas City
Sam laughs
Kids love taxonomy
Everyone seems to know something
Let the water be murky
Like the drops of chlorophyll in my water
Brackish
Like the things I used to know
And have since forgotten
Do you love me
The way I like you
Or is it all just
Practice for a stranger
Memories I’ve already forgotten
13.
Lunch Rush
Aiko is an hourly employee at Happy-Fish Revolving Sushi Restaurant, and Aiko is in love with a regular customer. As the lunch rush begins, Aiko prepares a piece of yellowfin tuna nigiri on the small blue-rimmed plate for her beloved.
Masaki was a salaryman until three days ago. Everyday for the last thirteen years, Masaki ate at the same restaurant nearby his office during his lunch break. As Masaki watches the blue-rimmed yellowfin tuna spin away, he resolves to dial his wife. She greets him warmly from the other end of the line.
Yume finds herself on her first date but has not yet found the courage to speak to her companion. She peeks up timidly to see a blue-rimmed yellowfin tuna approaching the bend. Yume’s date notices her perk up and moves toward the plate, accidentally brushing his fingers along her sleeve. He freezes and their eyes meet. Yume blushes.
Koorogi sits by the window and waits statuesquely as the blue rim of the small plate crosses into the sunlight’s shadow. Deftly, Koorogi sweeps the yellowed fish from atop the rice. Licking his whiskers, Koorogi sits still on the sill and gazes to the chef behind the tempered screen.
14.
you came back
everything is rushing
back to my body now
the days all bled together
in the hot water
I messed up the washing
in my sleep
I thought I might have made it up
but October came and shook my shoulders
the trees confirmed everything
then the clothes on the floor
15.
beloved please don’t go
without saying when
or at least reminding me of what will be in season
I only want to hear tomorrow
or when the pears get good
I like to think about what we’ll be eating over the sink
or what clothes I’ll borrow
as I clean up my apartment
this time, when I screamed that I was rot
you took to the kitchen
cut off all the bruises from the peaches
called it compote and told me to eat
this time was too short
I know, I know
we need to sleep
but what do you think the trees will look like?
16.
Funny how
an hour ago it was raining
still from yesterday.
I slicked the hardwoods walking
naked to your room. And you stood
at the top of the stairs, asking
Do you need anything from me right now?
Now, a runny sun
spills across the fields
on our drive to the train station,
and everything is changing.
Greens going golden.
The song you were
just singing, and your face
lifting octaves.
17.
It's that time again.
The air is thickening to syrup.
I want you to take the train up.
Come, take turns with me mouths open
until we’re sick and sticky.
Cross the door and bring the light in.
Pour your lilting voice through the hall
and make my still glass fizz.
Everything has bloomed here
since the last time.
Come, get down on your knees like before.
Bent over and over
the flowerbed ––
hands wet with dirt.
18.
who needs dancing when you can
swap forks as you swap plates
and roll away from each other in the bed
it’s a thrill to honor sleep and
want wellness for another’s body
you are more beautiful than i remember
and also more ordinary
19.
clinking metal coins between relaxed hands and chipped nail polish
from an untouched bowl
an air of sadness and relief
tear drops, not seconds, counted down breakfast is ready
metal was more plentiful than sweet chocolate and we ate the cakes anyway
sharing our last half smiles and exchanging glances
completely aware that time can be charted on a graph with a peak in the middle. and we find ourselves with more quarters than time.
you can cheat time by washing dishes. and you’ll be destroyed next time you look back. you see her counting change
and not time.
20.
Haunting
We’d shiver
in the car
outside, held from
wind, breaks
smoking
our stupid
cigarettes.
First flurry
or below
0 not
talking to
conserve breath,
we watched
take shape
the floatson
hours from
far away
while the engine
idled, spending
gas like dollars
and subtracted
minutes, not
fully living.
A film
of ash
left years
in dust.
Cold, smoke,
ash, litany
of waking half
to avoid
and half
to fix.
This accrues,
sits static
in unwashed
sweater, laundry
basket past full.
We’ve come
to forget
the scent our friends
are too nice
to mention.
21.
if i had it my way, i'd live in the paint aisle
walls lined with swatches in shades of your
flushed face, and
nail beds, and
second day hair
when i leave in the morning i
pick one, and
pocket it,
carry you close
and today it's your sweater, soft yellow
quite pearlike, your name
on the tip of my tongue
on the tips of my fingers
so love, let me peel it for you
the knife close to the skin, what
a heavenly scent, and
a sweetness that pours out my mouth.
22.
when to practice love
while I hate myself
love is an earnest sigh and a drink of water
thawing my diaphragm and
melting my frozen phlegm.
resting your hand
between my shoulders,
your “I’m right here with you” eyes
gaze toward my lowered lids.
while I hate myself
I try taking all the time I need
to soften shame’s shield
and look
into the face I’ve been wanting to see.